


Attached

by saellys



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Drunk Sex, Everybody Lives, Grief/Mourning, Multi, Porn with Feelings, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, dubcon, just to be safe since one of them is drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 20:40:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9342884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saellys/pseuds/saellys
Summary: Bodhi crouches before him. “You’re attached,” he pronounces.Compromised, more like. And wouldn’t it be better if they all were compromised together? Maybe Jyn is right. Maybe they can help each other, when the inevitable happens...No. He’s worse off than he thought, weak with drink. “You’re good soldiers,” Cassian says, keeping his face stony. “I’m proud to serve with you, proud of what we’ve done.” But the only friend he wants is the one he built to outlive him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The OT3 have worked through Jyn and Bodhi's baggage; now it's Cassian's turn. 
> 
> This is the product of an all-out OT3 smut war with ienablu. Thanks for the motivation.

“This is just sex,” Cassian tells Bodhi, and Bodhi looks up from where he’s been kissing Cassian’s collarbone. 

“What else would it be?” Bodhi says, peering at him. 

Don’t leave room for ambiguity. Get it over with now, and no one has to suffer later. “This isn’t connected to anything else,” Cassian says. What this is is the thing that comes after a too-close call, a mission that was nearly their last. It’s physical, yes, an outlet for the tension that hasn’t left them; it’s a need to confirm that yes, they really did survive, they are inhabiting their bodies fully. And it’s emotional as well, a celebration. It’s just not emotional like that. “We can stop if that’s a problem.” 

There is a lot of room for hurt in those wide eyes, and Bodhi isn’t practiced at hiding it. Still, he attempts a crooked smile and some bravado. “So you won’t stay and cuddle after.” 

“Would you like to be the big spoon?” Cassian says around a grin. 

Bodhi makes a pleased sound and goes back to Cassian’s clavicle. They carry on. 

Still, when he gets up later, Cassian can see in Bodhi’s face that it’s too soon. Cassian smoothes his hair back, kisses his brow. “Thank you,” he says. 

“We should do this again sometime,” Bodhi suggests. It sounds more like a question. 

Cassian gets dressed--not hurrying, exactly, but efficient. “I’d like that.” 

Bodhi watches him go. 

\- - - 

“This is just sex,” Cassian tells Jyn, a month later. 

Her eyes reveal nothing. She lifts her chin like he offered a challenge and she accepts. “We’d better make it good, then.” 

After, she feigns sleep and he moves quietly from her side. 

\- - - 

On Vrogas Vas, they lose a Pathfinder. 

Jory was just a kid; he signed on at the same time as Kes, and Kes doesn’t take it well. The whole flight back, Cassian sits on the deckplates next to Jory’s body with his arms around Kes while Kes grapples with what Cassian has understood for two decades. They are not invincible. 

_ Rogue One _ makes the rendezvous with  _ Profundity _ , and  _ Profundity  _ enters hyperspace, and Cassian monotones his way through a debriefing in the time it takes to reach the galaxy’s newest asteroid field, and when he changes into his dress uniform and takes the turbolift down to the main hangar bay, Jory’s body is in a capsule wearing full honors, a medal around his neck that he’ll never get to take pride in. 

Cassian stands at attention with everyone else through the ceremony. The casket is flanked by Pathfinders and Kes’s eyes are dry, but his face keeps threatening to crumple. It finally does when Admiral Raddus finishes speaking and activates a remote, and the capsule’s thrusters lift it half a meter off the deck. The only other sound in the bay is Chirrut and Baze praying softly. The Pathfinders put their hands on the capsule and walk it to the magnetic field. Momentum takes over then, easing Jory out into space among the remnants of Alderaan. 

“And may the Force be with us,” Raddus concludes, and they are dismissed. Kes leaves with the other Pathfinders and a pilot. Cassian turns on his heel, avoiding eye contact. 

In the corridor, K-2 catches up. “I’m sorry about Jory,” the droid says, and Cassian believes him--he does have the capacity for regret, and, though he’s clumsy about it, a certain sensitivity to Cassian’s emotional state. “Do you think you’re somehow responsible?” K-2 adds. Clumsy. 

They reach Cassian’s quarters, and he palms the door open. “I don’t want to think right now,” Cassian says, and leaves the droid outside. 

He takes off his dress jacket and puts it away carefully. He slumps at his desk and shuts his eyes, tries to clear his head. Breathes in, breathes out. 

The door slides open. There is a quiet  _ clink _ , and the door slides shut. Cassian turns, ready to snap at K-2, but the droid is gone and there are two bottles--how did he find one, let alone two?--of middle shelf Corellian whiskey on the floor. 

Cassian doesn’t have a glass, and this did not occur to K-2. Ah well. He opens the first bottle and drinks. 

When he looks up again, Jyn and Bodhi are in his quarters. Something leaps in his chest. “I want to be alone,” he croaks at them. 

Bodhi holds up the first bottle, nothing in it now. “Yeah, that seems like a healthy decision.” 

“ _ My _ decision,” Cassian says. 

Jyn straddles the desk chair backwards. When did Cassian move to the floor? It doesn’t matter, he’s there now, his back against the bunk, arms across his knees, and the second bottle dangling from his hand. Jyn reaches for it and he leans away. “Don’t be stingy,” she says, and after a mutually evaluating stare, Cassian passes it to her. She swigs and offers it to Bodhi. 

“One of us should stay sober,” Bodhi says, so Jyn gives the bottle back to Cassian. 

“That’s noble,” Cassian slurs, and drinks again. He doesn’t feel it burn down his throat anymore. 

Jyn scrubs at her face. “It’s good sense. Where did you leave yours?” 

“Get out,” Cassian tells her without any bite. “I have enough recriminations.” 

“That’s exactly why we’re here,” Bodhi says. He leans over Cassian like he’s talking to a child. “You’ve spent too long trying to separate yourself. It doesn’t work at times like this, and neither does obliterating yourself.” 

Cassian stares up at him. “Is this about us, Bodhi?” 

“No. But if you let me, maybe I could help.” 

“I tried to warn you both not to get attached.” 

Bodhi rolls his eyes so far his head tilts back, and Jyn says, “You’re not a pet barve.” 

He gestures with the bottle; the whiskey sloshes. “The next pod they shove out of the bay could be mine. Or I could be sent on a secret assignment tomorrow and die who-knows-where, and you would never find out what happened to me.” 

“We would  _ help _ each other,” Jyn insists. 

His laugh is empty. “Honestly, save yourselves the trouble.” 

“It’s too late,” says Bodhi. “We love you.” 

Cassian hopes his eyes show how tired he is. “The only person I’m trying to hurt tonight is me. You want to help so bad, go help each other move on.” 

Jyn holds her hand out for the bottle. He passes it, and she turns and sets it on the desk. Cassian glares. 

Bodhi crouches before him. “You’re attached,” he pronounces. 

Compromised, more like. And wouldn’t it be better if they all were compromised together? Maybe Jyn is right. Maybe they can help each other, when the inevitable happens...

No. He’s worse off than he thought, weak with drink. “You’re good soldiers,” Cassian says, keeping his face stony. “I’m proud to serve with you, proud of what we’ve done.” But the only friend he wants is the one he built to outlive him. 

“We tried to help each other move on,” Jyn says softly, and Cassian alternates staring at both of them. Bodhi looks away. “It was good, but something was missing.” 

“Did he not pull your hair enough?” 

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Bodhi orders, and, in a huff, sits beside him. “You can lie to us and lie to yourself, but you’re not going to be alone tonight. Understood?” 

Cassian raises his eyebrows. “Understood, Captain Rook.” 

Jyn joins them on the floor, bookending Cassian. She brings the bottle. “It’s not about Jory,” she says after a long drink. 

“It should be, but it’s not.” It’s about Kes’s expression in the hangar bay, and it’s not just that Kes thought he and his buddies would live forever. It’s about how many times Cassian has come back to his quarters with that same look on his face, no matter how hard he’s tried to keep a professional distance, to be a tower, high and armored. 

“What are you afraid of?” Bodhi asks. 

He takes a breath. “I’m afraid of what happens when I don’t feel like this anymore.” 

Because someday he won’t. He has watched the people he cared about, despite all his efforts, die for the last twenty years. Maybe after thirty, maybe forty, the recriminations will stop. Maybe next year. Maybe next mission. He will come back and deliver a body or a lack of one, and K-2 will look at him and will not say he’s sorry, because Cassian’s emotional state will not indicate a need for sympathetic sentiments. 

Jyn sets the back of her hand against his cheek. He can see in her eyes that she wants to apologize for what she said a lifetime ago, but it was nothing that hadn’t already gone through his head. 

“Let us help,” Bodhi whispers. 

If he loses either of them, he’ll be closer to that day. If he loses both of them, that’s it. 

“The damage is done,” Jyn says when Cassian shuts his eyes and shakes his head. She moves her hand, presses her palm to his other cheek to stop him. “Cassian. Please.” 

He opens his eyes, and she sees the surrender there. Jyn kisses him, soft. Her hand trails down his neck and her fingers hook in the collar of his shirt. He pulls away. “I’ve drunk a lot,” he says by way of apology. 

Jyn considers him, and moves. He starts to protest when she swings a leg over him, but she keeps going on to Bodhi’s lap and smiles at him. “I have full confidence in you, Commander Andor.” 

And then she looks down at Bodhi, and Bodhi looks up at her, and she kisses him, and Cassian shifts just enough to get a better view of them. Bodhi clutches at Cassian’s shoulder, sitting up straighter, his other arm at Jyn’s back. She gets her legs around him and he bends his knees, tipping her higher and closer, and Bodhi puts his mouth just under her jaw and Jyn gasps. Her fingers go to his hair and Bodhi shivers and starts working the hem of her shirt up. 

They look so good together, they work so well together. How could they think anything is missing? 

Jyn pushes Bodhi’s hand away and gets her vest and shirt off. Bodhi works his hand down, undoes her belt and trousers and then slides his hand inside. Jyn makes a little choked noise, Bodhi’s fingers tighten on Cassian’s shoulder, and Cassian takes a shaky breath. 

They both look to him. Bodhi leans back against the bunk again and uses the leverage to roll his hips, and Jyn’s eyes glaze with pleasure, and Cassian--

Well. Her confidence in him is not misplaced. 

“Get on the bunk,” Cassian says, and Bodhi isn’t particularly muscly, but he does know how to rise to the occasion. He lets go of Cassian and puts his free arm around Jyn, gets his feet underneath him, lifts and turns, and deposits her on the mattress without moving his other hand. Or at least without moving it in any way Cassian can see; the way Jyn continues to quietly vocalize suggests he hasn’t stopped what he was doing. 

Cassian stands, moving gingerly, and sets to pulling off Bodhi’s flightsuit. He gets one arm free, and when it’s time for the other, Bodhi takes his hand away from Jyn and holds it back over his shoulder. 

Cassian leans over and cleans his fingers. Bodhi’s eyes flutter closed, and Jyn makes a sound low in her throat. 

Cassian finishes stripping him and Bodhi leans down again and goes back to work, one hand on Jyn and the other braced on the mattress, and Cassian runs his hand gently down Bodhi’s spine, and finally, not hurrying, but efficient, he gets undressed. 

Jyn has two fistfuls of sheet and her eyes are stricken, and Bodhi’s mouth is low on her stomach and that puts Bodhi’s hips up in the air, and Cassian brushes his knuckles against his side and Bodhi turns his head just enough to say, “Please,” against Jyn’s skin. 

One trip to the desk later, Cassian starts to stroke at Bodhi and Bodhi’s mouth opens, jaw loose, short breaths. Cassian’s free hand soothes down his back. Bodhi’s calf muscles tense; his forearm does too, and Jyn arches. She’s watching them, but rather than meet her gaze, Cassian leans down and puts his teeth to Bodhi’s shoulder. 

Bodhi hisses. Jyn convulses. Bodhi keeps his fingers in her until she pushes his shoulder, and then he moves up her body, gets properly on the bed, and rests his head on her breast. He offers her his fingers. She closes her lips around them, eyes on Cassian. 

Bodhi feels ready. “Hips up,” Cassian reminds him, and Bodhi lifts them, and Jyn takes this opportunity to slide out from under him. Bodhi pulls his hand away and grasps the sheet instead. Cassian pushes in. 

He won’t last long. Whatever self-control he had left after the whiskey, it disappears when Bodhi groans and moves back against him. 

Jyn pats the back of Bodhi’s neck and climbs off the bunk while Cassian starts to move. She walks around him, coming to a halt at the foot of the bunk with an approving smile on her face. “Didn’t get to see this angle last time,” Jyn says. “Did you, Bodhi?” Damn her, Cassian is trying to concentrate. 

“I. Did,” Bodhi pants between meeting Cassian’s thrusts. “It’s... good.” 

“Really good,” Jyn says around a yawn. She stretches for good measure, and Cassian struggles to keep the pale slope of her torso in his field of vision as well as Bodhi’s straight brown shoulders. “You couldn’t see his face, though.” 

Cassian misses a beat, and Bodhi cranes his neck. 

Jyn reaches over and grasps Bodhi’s jaw, turns his head back toward the mattress. “Don’t strain yourself. I’ll tell you and you can confirm it later.” She shoots Cassian a smug little smile. “He may not be able to say it, but he loves you.” 

A tremor goes through Bodhi, and that’s it for Cassian; he makes a guttural sound and comes at the top of his next thrust. 

“See?” says Jyn. 

“When you’re right, you’re right,” Bodhi says into the mattress. 

Cassian pulls out and lets himself drop to one knee. Bodhi turns to lay lengthwise and face up on the bunk. “Well, at least two of us have had a nice evening so far,” he says, gesturing vaguely at his own untended erection. 

Cassian is ready to reach for him, to growl something about showing him a nice evening, but Jyn clambers on top of Bodhi first. Cassian catches himself before he warns her about protection. They’re both grown and she knows what she’s doing; she barely drank and he’s the one who’s going to wake up with a furred mouth and splitting headache. 

He’s going to wake up with a furred mouth, a splitting headache, and what else? 

Jyn lowers herself onto Bodhi and Bodhi sucks in a fragmented breath. She moves without preamble. “Just like before,” she coaxes. “This worked for you on the ship, didn’t it?” 

Bodhi nods, rendered mute by the pace she’s setting. “Where exactly on the ship?” Cassian says. 

“What the troops don’t know won’t hurt them.” 

That is historically not at all true, but Cassian settles back on the floor without pressing it further. Bodhi sets his hands on Jyn’s thighs, which prompts her to use her hips more, and that makes Bodhi gulp, and then he turns his head to look at Cassian, who is at that moment looking up at Jyn. 

“He loves you,” Bodhi tells Jyn, and Jyn looks down at Cassian, and Cassian fights his exhausted limbs, gets up and puts one hand on Bodhi’s chest and the other on the back of Jyn’s neck and he kisses her, and he feels Bodhi’s voice in his chest as he loses himself. 

Bodhi drinks air and Jyn grabs Cassian’s arm, but Cassian doesn’t move either hand. Jyn bites his lip. Cassian draws a breath through his nose and doesn’t let go of her. 

Bodhi hikes his hips again. Confident that he won’t spoil the plan, Cassian takes his hand away from Bodhi’s chest and puts it on Jyn’s instead. She whimpers. Cassian presses his tongue past her teeth. 

Bodhi sits up. At first he takes one breast and Cassian the other, but when Cassian’s hand moves lower Bodhi replaces it with his mouth. 

Jyn’s voice rises in pitch and volume, but Cassian smothers it. He forks two fingers just above where she and Bodhi meet, and drags them together. Jyn swears into his mouth, tries to buck away, but Bodhi gets his free arm around her and he moves up as she’s on her way back down, Cassian’s hand trapped between them.

She goes rigid, and one hitching breath later she shoves them both away. Bodhi flops back on the mattress and Cassian staggers, puts one hand on his knee and swipes the other across his mouth. Not bleeding. Jyn collapses in the space between Bodhi and the bulkhead. 

It’s a while before any of them can speak. “What are you going to do?” Jyn says. 

“What do you mean?” Cassian rasps. 

She lifts her head enough to see over Bodhi. “We’re in your quarters. You can’t get dressed and leave this time.” 

“You want to bet?” 

They both stare at him, but Cassian can’t make them suffer for long. He straightens and grins, and they visibly relax. “Lie down,” Bodhi suggests, and it comes out more like a question. He gets his arm around Jyn so there’s more space on his side of the bunk. Cassian eyes that space. 

He’s going to wake up with a furred mouth, a splitting headache, and two lovers in his bed. Cassian lays down on his side, with Bodhi’s wiry arm for a pillow. He sets his arm across Bodhi’s stomach, and Jyn’s hand finds it. “You love us,” she sighs happily. 

He can’t say it yet, but he can confirm it. “I guess I do.”


End file.
